paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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