in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
