everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
only if we run a train.
done.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Randomize
