We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize