Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I look better un-naked...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
