I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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