Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I need to sanitize my soul.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I lost the right to judge tonight
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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