I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
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Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
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At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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