Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
