vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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