what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
