my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
