I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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