i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
