Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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