I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
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