Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
