I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
