you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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