Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him

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  (281): I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him http://tfl.nu/1o2o
  Replies (2) Good night (1141) Bad night (581)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Jerry, you need to find god

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  (502): Jerry, you need to find god http://tfl.nu/604x
  Replies (17) Good night (703) Bad night (1202)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno

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  (518): i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno http://tfl.nu/fv58
  Replies (29) Good night (540) Bad night (2873)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'

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  (704): ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked' http://tfl.nu/xvcv
  Replies (39) Good night (732) Bad night (6772)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.

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  (775): For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven. http://tfl.nu/fqjc
  Replies (38) Good night (1340) Bad night (6668)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?

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  (405): also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format? http://tfl.nu/009x
  Replies (27) Good night (6342) Bad night (1385)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"

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  (862): found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later" http://tfl.nu/lryz
  Replies (19) Good night (10430) Bad night (1742)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  what is it with giant penises always finding me

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  (216): what is it with giant penises always finding me http://tfl.nu/ji8j
  Replies (26) Good night (4191) Bad night (920)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.

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  (859): the best sex is "duke just lost" sex. http://tfl.nu/zw67
  Replies (33) Good night (6210) Bad night (1422)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??

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  (518): i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in?? http://tfl.nu/j32d
  Replies (4) Good night (1588) Bad night (546)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  i think i broke my dog last night...fuck

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  (319): i think i broke my dog last night...fuck http://tfl.nu/y38t
  Replies (6) Good night (421) Bad night (1715)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Vodka?

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Forever.

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  (703): Vodka? (202): Forever. http://tfl.nu/90ug
  Replies (7) Good night (1424) Bad night (530)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks

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  (603): Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks http://tfl.nu/ddr9
  Replies (10) Good night (383) Bad night (602)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245

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  (602): Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245 http://tfl.nu/keca
  Replies (5) Good night (314) Bad night (247)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I just told a bottle to be chill

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  and meant it

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  (604): I just told a bottle to be chill (604): and meant it http://tfl.nu/uxaa
  Replies (2) Good night (500) Bad night (199)

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