i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
