I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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