Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?

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  (586): dear santa what can i do with your candy cane? http://tfl.nu/evo0
  Replies (2) Good night (1220) Bad night (590)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!

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  (928): Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look! http://tfl.nu/iwt3
  Replies (38) Good night (6909) Bad night (786)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.

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  (856): If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection. http://tfl.nu/y6yr
  Replies (50) Good night (911) Bad night (8009)
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  (845): View more from New York

  If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?

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  (845): If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one? http://tfl.nu/fmgu
  Replies (11) Good night (868) Bad night (3964)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"

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  (630): i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis" http://tfl.nu/h67z
  Replies (20) Good night (1103) Bad night (5489)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.

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  (917): its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny. http://tfl.nu/2ipn
  Replies (10) Good night (885) Bad night (4312)
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  (516): View more from New York

  he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board

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  (516): he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board http://tfl.nu/9lcb
  Replies (5) Good night (1118) Bad night (1889)
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  (530): View more from California

  and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.

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  (530): and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters. http://tfl.nu/hxhg
  Replies (5) Good night (3025) Bad night (917)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting

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  (702): Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting http://tfl.nu/9kwe
  Replies (7) Good night (2013) Bad night (1031)
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  (209): View more from California

  Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.

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  (209): Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way. http://tfl.nu/s3aa
  Replies (5) Good night (1803) Bad night (503)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic

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  (660): People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic http://tfl.nu/zs06
  Replies (10) Good night (1359) Bad night (800)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.

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  (847): Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing. http://tfl.nu/jldd
  Replies (14) Good night (1658) Bad night (538)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.

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  (515): Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use. http://tfl.nu/510e
  Replies (2) Good night (688) Bad night (325)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I deserve to be covered in dicks

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  (570): I deserve to be covered in dicks http://tfl.nu/rtn9
  Replies (4) Good night (489) Bad night (310)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...

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  (419): I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord... http://tfl.nu/yyau
  Replies (3) Good night (793) Bad night (350)

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