Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
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On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
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Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.