WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
