I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT