Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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