UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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