THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
