just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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