he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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