Come see our sink grown plant.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
sex in a hospital.. check
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
