i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
