You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
