If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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