He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize