While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just want to make out with him forever
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
