Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
