Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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