It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
