Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
