If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
