I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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