Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast

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(404): View more from Georgia

He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Princesses don't give blow jobs

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(816): View more from Missouri

i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino

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(585): View more from New York

Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything

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(304): View more from West Virginia

The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower

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(304): View more from West Virginia

The entire state will know me by my boobs.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.

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