my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Randomize
