as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
