Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
