Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
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All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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