Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
