So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
