We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
