Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize