i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
