my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
