How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
