you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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