What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Still dying that you shit outside
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Randomize
