There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I was not drunk enough for that final.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
