As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
