i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
