I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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