Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
