So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
