i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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