Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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