come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
