By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I got her a Nickelback box set.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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