So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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