It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
