I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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