zippers are such a cool invention
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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